1. You might pee yourself
This has happened to my twice. Yep. Once in the morning when I got out of bed and the other time when I was clearing my throat doing dishes. Just a few drops came out but I couldn't believe it! I thought this would happen after I give birth! Apparently the expanding uterus puts pressure on the bladder and the position of your baby can add some too. Baby Sorenson loves to be transverse (sideways) right now so the peeing myself thing only happens when he squirms into a head down position. Eeek! He is supposed to be head down by 36 weeks so I might have 4+ weeks of this ahead of me.
2. Spider veins
This is a picture of my actual leg, and I still wear shorts and rock a bikini. It doesn't really bother me that my legs look freakishly strange, like Frankenstein. I started getting spider veins on the back of my right leg and on the bottom of my right shin around week 23. They freaked me out! Of course I became a google doctor when I looked up what could be causing them and thought I had a liver disease or maybe a blood disorder. Nope! With an increase in blood volume comes all sorts of great things, this included. My midwife suggested I apply Butcher's Broom Cream daily and this has helped slow their spread and growth.
3. Clothes Suck
I have never disliked putting on a cute outfit until now. Maternity clothes are fine but never fit quite as perfectly as my old time favorites. Wearing a ruched maternity tank top itches my sides, pants that go over the belly make me itchy, and pants that go under the belly are uncomfortable. I ditched bras around week 16 for padded sports bras. Ahhhh, free the ta-tas. At this point I would like to be naked or partially naked all the time. I know its not acceptable to go out of the house like this and I desperately envy the National Geographic women who bare it all and their culture says its cool and dandy. I am excited to be able to wear my old clothes and things with buttons once again!
4. Your child will have a personality in the womb
Our son is definitely not a show off. I think he is rather shy. Whenever he is moving and grooving and I have someone try to feel my belly he stops. Its like he knows I am trying to make him into a circus act. He also kicks harder when John touches my belly than when I am just lying down. I swear he is trying to kick in Morse code. He calms down when I talk to him and gets excited when worship music is playing (specifically at church). He is a very good listener (so far!) because I will tell him to more off of my right ligament or something and he will move his body totally to the left! Such a mama's boy already. Nobody ever told me they have such character!
5. Itchy Belly
My belly is itchy, oh soooo itchy in the afternoon! I don't have stretch marks (yet) on my belly but man does it itch if I don't apply my homemade concoction. It is worse with the over-the-belly maternity clothes. Read back to number 3, I am considering boycotting clothing. I try not to scratch but sometimes I sneak one here and there. I am really thankful I made this homemade belly butter because it relieves the itching instantly and its supposed to prevent and heal stretch marks. John steals it for his dry and cracked hands and it works wonders.
6. Relaxin
I was shocked when I dropped more glasses than I have in my life, I bumped into every possible wall in our house, when I put the cooking spray in the fridge, when I didn't poop for a day, how I suddenly became a yoga goddess with all of my new-found flexibility, and when I had a bad a spell of heartburn for a few days. Oh yeah and when I got super bad sciatica for three weeks. The hormone to thank? RELAXIN. Relaxin helps your ligaments stretch and make room for your baby. With this can come clumsiness, back pain, greater flexibility, slower digestion, forgetfulness, and heartburn.
7. Your Boobies are Freaks of Nature
First they got tender. Then they got bigger. Next they got darker. Lastly they erupted in stretch marks overnight. Literally overnight! I woke up and thought I had a rash where my sports bra sits. It didn't go away after a few days and upon closer inspection I realized I had bright red stretch marks on the underside. I now apply my belly butter to help them heal but I know I will get more when my milk comes in. I heard about stretch marks when your milk comes in but nobody told me it could happen before your baby was born!At least you get a great rack out of the whole ordeal.
8. You drink water like its going to dry up
On the plane yesterday I thought I was going to have a panic attack when I realized I ran out of water and the fasten seat belt sign was on. I have always been a huge fan of staying hydrated and all that good jazz but now I drink more water than I ever have in my life. Your body is creating a ton more blood and fluid, and you need water to make that happen. I probably drink about 160 ounces of water a day compared to my usual 75-100 ounces pre-baby. I can't get enough water these days!
9. You look like a giraffe
My face looks like I have giraffe spots. I guess it goes with my height. I thought I had some sort of skin issue when my cheeks started developing what looked like big, light freckles. Apparently this is referred to as the “Mask of pregnancy”or melasma and it causes splotchy spots to appear on your face. When you become pregnant your body produces more hormones, which causes an increase in your pigmentation. I never knew that about 50% of pregnant women show some signs of the “mask of pregnancy”! I wear 50 spf every day otherwise mine could be a lot worse and way darker.
10. Shaving Sucks
I hate shaving now. I only do my legs about once a week and am reminded of my tapering swimming days when I would go months without shaving for a big swim meet. Shaving started to be a huge hassle when I was about 25 weeks and my belly got in the way of my arm and bending over. I started to sit in the bathtub with a few inches of water and this has helped a ton with my attitude towards shaving. I hate waxing my legs so I might turn into a cave woman before you know it. If I shave my legs for you you know you are special.
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