To my Sons...

My Dear Sons,

There are some things you need to know, and several promises we as your parents have made to you. We have a great responsibility to raise you in such a way that brings the most glory and honor to God. It is our greatest priledge to be your parents and our greatest work that we will ever take on. We know we are called to raise Champions. To raise Kingdom Builders and Mighty Warriors. We are called to raise Leaders. You, my sons, are Leaders.

Oftentimes people will want you to pick sides. They will want you to make a binary choice. Jesus offers a third way, a way that chooses love. Real Leaders choose love. They love the people that hate them and they are passionate about showing people this third way. 

Let me begin.

In this world there are bullies. Our job is to raise you to stand up to those bullies for the sake of others. You might be tempted to think the bullies are villians, and some people will tell you to hate the bullies because they think they are bad people. Do not buy into this lie. Remember the third way? You can love the people for whom you are standing up while simultaneously choosing to see the bullies through God's eyes. God loves them. You are called to love those who hate you. You might need to set healthy boundaries with bullies, but they are not to be treated the same what they treat you and others. You will be a shining light as a warrior of love, and people will be astounded that you have chosen the third way. They will be curious and they will want to learn more about this radical love that does not condemn. 

You will be an amazing listener. Leaders know how to listen. We will teach you to ask questions upon questions so that you can come to understand people who are different from you. You will be the third way. The third way does not judge, it does not put people into a box, and it most certainly does not write off people's experiences and feelings. Through seeking out answers and staying curious, you will come to great understanding and wisdom. You will be diplomatic beyond measure and your thoughtful questions will make people feel safe and loved, and most of all see they will feel known. 

There is something you need to know about WARRIORS.

Warrior Leaders fight ferociously for freedom. Often the freedom they are fighting for is not just their own, but so many others' freedom as well. Sometimes mighty warriors will get hurt and injured by bullies who seek to destroy all that is good and beautiful in people. These bullies attack people's core identity. The things that these bullirs say and do have the power to shatter people's belief that they are valuable and loved. You, my warrior sons, will fight for soul freedom. Bullies will try to bring people down, you will build people up.

Mighty warriors like yourselves are kind and gentle. They are compassionate and giving of their time, energy, and resources. They are welcoming to those who are different than them and they embrace people who need comfort. My sons, we will raise you to love. You will love people so very much. Your heart will break for them and the pain they experience at the hands of bullies. People will say unkind things to people in your presence, and your job is not only to comfort those who are hurting, but to fight back for them. To fight against those bullies who wage war on their souls. Muslims, the LGBTQ community, people of color, women, documented and undocumented immigrants, people with differently-abled bodies, the economically disadvantaged, and those who are "different" will be picked on. You will see it. We will raise you to ferociously scream, "STOP!". We will raise you to see every person as a person who matters, a person whose soul is important and valuable. We will do our best to help you see people the way God sees people: as cherished. There is nobody who can escape the love of God, and you will be warriors for this cause. Your love for people will be contagious and you will be put in a place of leadership where people will be looking up to you and following your lead. Lead with love.

There is something you must know about YOU.
 
The color of your skin matters. People look at you differently. You will face less challenges and opposition than your friends of color will in this lifetime. People are bullied because of the pigment of their skin, the shade with which they were born. This is not right, and this is not fair. People who are white have been born with a skin-weapon of great power that they can either use to destroy those who are oppressed, or they can use it to tear down the walls of injustice and defend people of color. You, my sons, are Kingdom Builders and we will raise you to see in Kingdom Color. We will raise you to break down barriers and stand up for your friends. There is hope, a righting-of-every-wrong. In your lifetime you will see a shifting and rising tide in America. Right now, the pigment of our population is mostly white. This will change. Your peers, your generation, is a minority-majority. Kids under the age of 5 today are over 50% non-white. Get excited!! The color of America will shift and we will raise you to celebrate and welcome this diversity.  We will raise you to stand up against racism and cultural imperialism whenever it rears it's ugly head. You will be a part of the generation that ushers in a beautiful change. You will lead with love.

There is something else you must know about YOU.

Your sex matters. Women are treated differently than men, and this is not right. This is not fair. Let me, as your mother, tell you something about women. God created women to be filled with so much power. The very beating of your hearts was sustained by my body for 9 months and many more through milk from my body. You were knit together in my womb and birthed through my God-given strength. Women are stronger than you in so many ways. However, not everybody sees this great power, even women themselves. As your mother I want you to become like your father. And follow in his example. Your daddy treats me the way every single woman deserves to be treated by men. He treats me with dignity, kindness, respect, and appreciation. He believes in me and values me. This is not the way many women are treated by men. Women are picked on by bullies. Women can be bullies to other women. You are called to defend all that is right and all that is true, and this means standing up for women. You will stand up against rape-culture, misogyny, objectification, pornification, unfairness in the workplace, abuse, and the de-valuaing of women in every way, shape, and form. You will show women who God is through your thoughtfulness and your respect of women. Other men will look up to you as their standard of excellence in your treatment of the opposite sex. You, my tender sons, will create a different culture that honors the innate power and strength of womankind. You will make women feel safe, valued, and loved.

There is something you need to know about US

We, your parents, are completely imperfect. We have failed time and time again to be warriors and to stand up for injustice of all types. We have not had the eyes to see people the way God sees people, and for that we are truly sorry. We have not listened to people and we have brushed them off. We have made people feel unsafe by the words we have said, and the action or inaction we have taken when they are being threatened by bullies. We have made many mistakes and we will continue to make many mistakes. You have our permission to question us and call us out when we are not living up to the standard that Jesus gave us, which is to love God and to love people. We fall short of perfection by a long shot. Please help us to love more fully and love more deeply.

This is something you need to know about God.

God loves you. God loves every single person on the planet. God created every beating heart and every life is beaming with purpose and intentionally. You were created with purpose, and God has placed you on this earth for such a time as this. God desires to speak to you and lead you into your destiny. Go forth in love my Kingdom Building, Mighty Warrior Sons.

Love,
Mama

Photo credit to Hope Curran