Let me confess in the hope that other bloggers, mommies, and the general public will feel comfortable in their own skin. This is ME, right now, unedited if you were to walk into my living room and have a very keen eye of my home, my baby, and of course the "dirty mommy" who is typing this post. Read through mine then I want to hear it from you. What are your "Dirty" confessions? Write a blog post, comment on my facebook, leave a confessional on your facebook status, or leave some love below. Let's normalize the daily lives we live and break down the tendency to portray our "false self" for others by pretending we have it all together.
1. My sheets are unwashed
There is a milk stain from last night when I leaked and I figured if it is going to happen again tonight I might as well wait to change the sheets tomorrow (or the next day?). It bothers me, yes. But it is the least of my worries when I have a bucket full of dirty cloth diapers that need attention and only a set amount of quarters in the home to pay for laundry. Plus I don't have a car today (its getting serviced) so I can't drive to the bank to get more. And if I walked to the laundry mat to get quarters I would have to put a shirt on before coming home to start the load. So, I am perfectly content with a few stains on my sheets. Because they are my favorite, most comfy cozy sheets and I don't like the other two sets that are clean in my linen closet.
2. My hair is disgusting
Honestly, I can't remember when I washed it last. Maybe its been 4 days? At least it doesn't smell or feel greasy (yet) but I must confess I hate drying my hair because I have to wear it down to air dry and when That happens I will inevitably get spit up in it or my hair will get tangled in Caleb's fingers when he is eating. I have been dying to get a "mommy cut" so it is easier to take care of. I have thought about shaving it off in the wee hours of the morning when I am sleep-deprived and not quite sane. But then I remember that I like my hair sometimes. I am a little jealous of Salome, the girl our family sponsors in Tanzania. Her most recent picture shows off her very short hair and her flawless cheekbones. We shall see. Every time my head itches I am convinced I might have lice. Something must be done.
3. My leg hair is nearing a quarter inch.
When I am in the shower I am usually in the dark so the legs don't get the attention they deserve. Caleb will be in his rock-n-play in the bathroom while I am showering to get the steam in our sinuses. He loves the sound of the shower and is quite content for a good 10-15 minutes after he has eaten. However we have a combo light/ceiling fan so if I turn the light on then I cannot get the steamy goodness. Hence hairy legs. Plus I've always not really cared and it is fun to surprise the DH with clean-shaven legs once in a while. Its cheaper than buying new lingerie! So really I'm saving us money guys...
4. I haven't worn make-up for quite a while
Not going to apologize for this one. I think I am beautiful without it because I have so much to offer the world that is not based on my outside appearance. I have always felt this way and my husband feels the same. People have told me "wow, you look so pretty!" when I put the makeup on for various things where it is basically required (business trainings, job interviews, funerals, weddings, etc.). And I always laugh and say, "Thanks, I'm wearing makeup today!". And I do think it makes me look prettier but I just don't care on a daily basis to wear the junk. When it is those special occasions I actually relish playing dress up and getting a little fancy with the eye goop. But for me its just a mask, it's something that only enhances what I already have going on. Its not something I worry about "forgetting" to wear. I have other "ass-ets" that require no make up to shake up. OK that was a little lame. But seriously, more ladies should embrace it! I committed to not wearing make up for 1 whole year in high school and after that point I never wore it more than twice a week (except for when I was student teaching, I bumped it up to three times a week)
5. The bathroom floor is disgusting
Hasn't been officially and completely cleaned in ages. I usually spot check it for chest hair, my hair, dust bunnies, and random stuff that ends up on the floor when someone is coming to our home. I want it to be clean daily but I figured if I remember to pee in the toilet at 3am then the floor isn't so bad. Plus John is a very tidy tinkler so until Caleb begins to want to explore the floors I can put this one off for a bit.
6. There are dishes in the sink
Not as bad as it has been but they are creeping onto the counter. Dishes love to make babies and they seem to keep populating my kitchen! I wish cleaning dishes was as easy as vacuuming. I should invent a hand-led vacuum that instantly cleans your dish. And a robot that takes it back to the cupboard. Any backers?
7. I am staring at 50 things I want to put away
Not even going to start listing them. If they had eyes they would be boring holes in my soul. I wish I was Matilda and could harness the power of my brain to make things move. I wish all Roald Dahl books could come true.
8. The microwave door is open
This is a habit that is an understandable pet peeve of John's. Who leaves the door open? Isn't it easy enough to close it? Yes. Yes it is my dears. Yet it is open...because I snatched my lunch from it while I was holding Caleb and forgot to go back and close it when I put either baby or food down. Goodness I feel a little pathetic now.
9. I am half-clothed
I was so sweaty from my walk with Stephanie (be grateful, it inspired this post) and tore my shirt off to nurse Caleb who was also equally as sweaty. I usually stay this way for a while until I get cold or I need to go outside. At least the pink sports bra is a mommy fashion statement.
10. My nails are chipping and need to be clipped
I had them done a few weeks ago and never got around to cleaning them off. I find chips on Caleb after changing him but if I take the nail polish off then that means I can't take care of the other gazillion things I need to do.
11. I have pee on my pants
No, its not my pee. I have been giving Caleb naked time on the floor on a towel. When he is on his back I put said towel over him to trap the pee. While trying to get ready for my walk I was running around the house getting the stroller ready, shoving a banana in the console, and putting sunscreen on my face so I left Caleb on his back with the towel in the office/changing room. He is such a strong and active baby and he decided that he would like to practice his aim but the towel was very much hindering that ambition. I came back into the office to put a diaper and clothes on him and saw the rug had a suspicious wet spot. Stephanie was coming any minute so I decided "Well it will dry, and baby pee is mostly water, right?". Two hours later when doing naked tummy time on the floor I sat in the wet spot. And then I never changed. Yep.
12. My son is sleeping with curds of spit-up in his neck rolls
I noticed them after he was asleep when he turned his head. Not worth it to wake him up and see what he thinks about a wet washcloth skimming his sensitive baby skin while he is dreaming of precious things.
13. My son has one hand of short finger nails and the other one is filled with claws
I can only bite them when he has unclenched fists and that only occurs a few rare times right before he goes to sleep, mostly when he is nursing. I only nurse on one side and last night his right hand was the lucky winner to be within the reaches of my teeth.
14. I have stinky armpits
Remember how I was rushing out the door? I forgot to put on my husbands deodorant (yeah, my salt crystals aren't cutting it anymore and I haven't gone to walmart since before Caleb was born). I sometimes enjoy smelling like a man. It reminds me of John when he is at work all day. But really now, I need to get my own, its a little weird. But this is a confessional, right?
15. I have ants crawling over me.
I seriously HATE ants. We have had a few intruders that have brought their entire Calvary with them recently. Our molding has some tiny holes that they have entered through and John courageously goes to war with vinegar, paper towels, ant traps, and a caulk gun frequently. The most recent scouts must be under our couch because they have been crawling up the walls and getting onto the couch somehow. And onto me. I told John this morning I swear one bit me because I felt a pinch and looked down to what I had swatted and it was the carcass of an ant. I have killed three since starting this blog post.
TAAAA-DAAAA!
Now its your turn.... be bold and believe that people won't love you less when you are honest with where you are at, they will love you more ans appreciate the honesty. If they are harsh and judge you or shame you, maybe they aren't really someone with which you should keep company. What are your version of "Dirty Girl Confessionals"?
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